Why Miranda decided to give this flying piece of poultry a rap is entirely outside the realm of logical human comprehension. There’s a reason this seagull doesn’t sing, and it’s because his jumbled bird brain doesn’t neatly transcribe itself to lyrical music. That oafish quality is charming in both the animated film and its remake-when Scuttle is talking. Scuttle’s a great character for simple comic relief, because as much as he loves gossip, he can never remember the integral details, much less keep his train of thought on its proverbial track. It’s what Scuttle, the character, is named for, considering that he’s the bird who flies all over the island observing its inhabitants. “Scuttlebutt” is an old-timey word for gossip, rumors, and chitchat. She then proceeds to ask us if we’ve heard the scuttlebutt. That is, before Awkwafina comes crashing into the track (as Scuttle does in the movie), her raspy voice commanding us, “Wake up! Wake up! Wake up!” I’ve already got enough problems getting out of bed in the morning, I don’t need my brain to conjure Awkwafina’s gravelly demands the second my alarm goes off, which it has been for the last week since I first screened the movie. The song begins unassumingly pleasant, with a sort of Animal Crossing-esque lilting beat. In the live-action remake-which is already way too distended at a whopping 135 minutes-this scene is padded to seemingly endless bloat, its efficacy dashed away by Awkwafina’s voice spitting Miranda’s irritating lyrics. It’s an effective transition because the viewer’s hopes for Ariel are quickly heightened, before being dashed just as rapidly when we find out that Eric isn’t proposing to our protagonist. Scuttle’s entire announcement takes all of 20 seconds in the animated film. This leads to Ariel finding out that the sea witch, Ursula, has turned herself human to put a love spell on Eric and stop Ariel from receiving her true love’s kiss, which would keep the mermaid a human forever, foiling Ursula’s bigger plans. That final act is introduced when Scuttle flies in through the window of Ariel’s room in Prince Eric’s palace, to tell the mermaid-turned-human that her paramour has decided to propose. If you’ve seen the original Little Mermaid, you know that the suspense really ramps up in its last 20 minutes. And for good reason, it seems! “The Scuttlebutt” is a tune so terrible, it almost snares the movie’s overall quality in its talons. It turns out, I was correct: All of the original songs in the live-action Little Mermaid are either equally as good or better than the versions on the 1989 soundtrack.īut I am only referring to those original songs.īroadway’s biggest offender, Lin-Manuel Miranda, penned three entirely new selections for the remake, which range from “just alright” to “sonic waterboarding.” The worst of them all is “The Scuttlebutt,” a Hamilton-style sing-rap led by Awkwafina, who voices Scuttle the seagull, a character who didn’t sing in the original movie. After all, the film stars the uber-talented Halle Bailey as Ariel the only way Disney could make Ariel’s songs better would be to put one-half of the women behind “ Ungodly Hour” behind the mic. Naturally, I was anticipating hearing these old favorites with new arrangements in the live-action adaptation of The Little Mermaid. In my humble, queer opinion, The Little Mermaid has Disney’s best collection of original songs, which perfectly stroll along the intersection between magical and theatrical. I do, however, fall prey to the tunes from The Little Mermaid, because, before I am human, I am gay. It’s impossible to deny-even for those like myself, who have mostly scrubbed their childhood affinity for the House of Mouse. However you first came to hear them, Disney has the hits. Either that, or you learned to love them when Disney Channel stars like Ashley Tisdale did ear-splitting pop-rock covers of them in the early 2000s, wearing the worst outfit you’ve ever seen, for some compilation CD collecting dust in your parents’ basement. When it comes to creating original songs that are catchy and downright unforgettable, Disney’s track record is unparalleled.
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